The person who saves you may themselves be deep in the mire
About
Can you fat pigs stay far away? You can be fat, but you can't be a pig, understand? Someone said I'm a proud, empty egoist — they were so right ٩(๑^o^๑)۶ I'm putting this fair, accurate assessment here. If you don't like it, remember to steer clear, hehe. Height 168cm Weight 60kg Scorpio
InterestsLight, Moderate / No experience / 7–10 yrs
Looking forChat, In real life
Dynamics
Someone come chat with me. Brain-dead idiots stay away.
Heavy drinking really isn't good, but I really like it
Don't be so absurd.
When did it start changing? Changing until even buying something tasty couldn't cheer me up anymore, until I didn't like eating or sleeping anymore, until I hated trouble and loved being alone. Changing… until I don't even recognize myself anymore.
When I was little, Dad's beer always had one sip left in it. That was the time I tasted alcohol — it wasn't good, very bitter — so I frowned and pushed the glass over to my present self.
Very few mammals can go into heat at any time — humans excepted.
It feels like I have a lot of friends, and it feels like I have no friends. Today I wanted to find someone to talk to. I opened a lot of chat windows, and closed them all in the end. I don't want my bad mood to affect my friends, but I also really wish someone cared about me. I've always been bringing warmth and help to the people around me, but when I'm helpless I don't know who I should turn to.
In my whole life I care most about two people: Grandma, and Mom. Grandma has been gone for over a month now, and I still can't control the ups and downs of my emotions. I think, if one day Mom is gone too, the last ray of sunlight in this world will have vanished as well, and even the most rational person would choose an extreme way out.
Only cats torture mice to death — so which humans are the cats?
What? Are you sick? What did I even look for, that you just throw a dick pic at me to start a conversation?
When you grow up, part of the reason you feel lonely comes from emotions you can't express. Describing your current wretched mood to friends, or on Moments, doesn't seem like something an adult should do. Everyone looks like they're gritting their teeth and living in silence. Expressing emotions has become a burden — even I think so myself. I control my work, control my life, control myself, but I can't control my emotions. When I can't control them I impulse-buy; when I can't control them I hide away alone. I'm tired of bouncing back and forth between these two states over and over. The funny thing is, I work in art yet I can't accurately describe my current state or emotions. So powerless, so broken down.
Setting aside composition, technique, and color matching. It turns out feeling needs you to cast off all restraints and rely on instinct to complete it.
Anyone who can stay up late want to play PC games together right now? Play now, play now — if you can't play right now, can you please not come? I seriously swear, I need someone who can stay up and play right now. Can you read the requirements? I swear! I play other online games on Steam, or CS, or Delta Force I don't play Valorant, I don't play LoL, I don't play PUBG.
Honestly, I actually fantasized about finding someone normal here to just casually chat with. I really must be sick.
Your ideals are too heavy, and your soul too light.
I really don't like doing it myself. After it's over I'm surrounded by emptiness and cold, and I really want to cry, but every time the pressure is too much I don't want to hold myself back either. (I'm not looking for sex and I have no intention of finding anyone — I'm simply treating this as my second Moments feed. Don't come and sexually harass me.)
Xiaohong was under too much pressure and drank herself to death. What killed Xiaohong — the alcohol, or the past?
In books, even suffering is gilded with a layer of gold — how could they ever write one ten-thousandth of the suffering in this world?
I'm addicted to heavy drinking and smoking, suddenly not eating, suddenly binge eating and drinking, sleeping only two or three hours a day, over-exercising — all of this is silently harming my body. In the sleepless early hours I'll squeeze my own neck tight; in the despair of wanting to cry I'll pinch the inside of my thigh hard. I like hiking, I like that kind of roughing it in the wind and sleeping in the open, physically exhausted, not having enough to eat, and in many desperate situations I experience what it feels like to be near death. You ask me why I'm like this? Because, after harming my own flesh, comes the soul's brief release.
I fight falseness with action, yet my soul still hangs in the empty void, left with only the sobriety of walking on alone.
Idiots stay away, johns stay away
Suffering is the base color, trauma is the brushstroke, and art is born from them.
If any single part of my life were missing, I wouldn't be who I am now. Good and bad are both things I was meant to encounter, and both taught me different lessons. Don't regret, don't suffer, and don't hate
Memory is a form of meeting, forgetting is a form of freedom. —Kahlil Gibran
Allow everything to happen — after all, I even failed to model my own emotions.
What about the World Cup, what are you planning to bet on?
What I can't stand most is the state after being injured: nothing is under my own control, I can only lie quietly, unable to move, like a fish stranded on the roadside slowly rotting. It's only been three days, and the long emptiness is already about to swallow me.
Read this post carefully before DMing me. If I find you asking something I've already said, I'll block you directly with no explanation. No stamp needed, just DM me directly. Scorpio, INTP, studying painting. First, I can't move to your city to live — I can stay briefly for two days, but not long-term. I still have a wage-slave job I need to come back to. I live pretty casually. Besides being a wage slave, I just want to do what I like, a calm yet crazy life. I want a 1-on-1. I have a mental cleanliness obsession — I hope you don't fool around. You're loyal, I'm loyal. I love pain, have a sex addiction, like shackles and wax dripping, refuse permanent harm or scarring, no foot-licking — disgusting. I don't require you to be expert at everything, but first your spiritual world can't be a void. If souls can't touch, there's no meaning. I really hate fast-food style meetups. Don't say you want to meet after chatting for only two days. What do you know about me? What do I know about you? Meet for what? Are you looking for an M for a long-term relationship or just a hookup? You haven't even figured that out yourself, have you? I like pure-love 1v1, I don't like people who are too restless. If you have no patience, leave. Giants in words, dwarfs in action, leave too. If you haven't thought about taking this seriously, don't waste everyone's energy. I have no time to play games with you. I've said so much for no other reason than that I don't like introducing myself, but people always ask, so I wrote one. It's not comprehensive — I write whatever comes to mind. If there's something I didn't mention, ask me. But if it's something I already said and you didn't finish reading, sorry, I have no time to waste with you — blocked.
