Woo woo, I have no friends I want to go singing I want good friends I want to eat barbecue I want to go mountain climbing I want to go see the sea I want to drink wine wine I want someone to accompany me I will sweetly call dad Will kneel on the ground Look up仰望 at him Will let him see in my eyes Bright love
About
Based in: Taiwan · Taichung. I dreamed of your face Long night not yet ended accompanying by my side Height 160cm Weight 65kg Capricorn
InterestsModerate / Experienced / 7–10 yrs
Looking forChat
Dynamics
Woo woo X﹏X Can't stand it Early morning First give myself Touched to orgasm Then continue sleeping Woo woo woo How can I Be so lewd 🥺
I have slowly accepted the matter of work Even though always saying unhappy I also felt the tiny sense of achievement within The relaxed feeling of completing one thing I more and more don't排斥 those contradictions More and more brave More and more熟练 I discovered my厉害 place I am not afraid to take on things Wrong就 change Even if very annoying, change就 change I am not afraid to対线 with people I just still feel不好意思 to let everyone work for me 不好意思 to name someone Never吝啬 to communicate alone with someone I learn things very fast The company to newcomers is really a放养 state Letting myself摸索 alone Really don't understand already可以 bravely targetedly ask Asked can learn I am really great hehe My biggest advantage is actually carefulness Careful to how繁琐 things Learned won't make mistakes Even if first time Wrong also only无关紧要 a little bit Even if will make mistakes in the future I think I also have courage to face and bear I finally gave myself a bit底气 On the road facing life Take back what I originally had This afternoon drank a cup of small butter latte Slightly sweet just right Mood also just right On the way home I got carsick But feel myself walking on the road more and more好看 。。。。。。。Separator。。。。。。。 Meow du Just praised myself Eating a meal time Told me before work I understood something wrong Annoyed òᆺó Head full of this little破事
You ask me why I don't want to find a master, I don't know either Just my heart tells me, it排斥 very much, it can't establish relationships with anyone, seems the纽带 connecting with the outside world broke I thought and thought, seriously felt it, probably maybe my subconscious thinks people are untrustworthy Maybe I from my heart accepted that in this world no one will catch me Maybe accustomed to alone carrying through all sad times, don't want anyone to share my功劳, even if bitter and astringent Maybe think everyone is telling me people should be independent is right, including myself Maybe sense of security disappeared without trace, maybe I seem unable to love anymore, so won't obtain love anymore Maybe, I really, just don't believe anymore Not subjectively, but I can't control it I can't control排斥 toward finding a master Also can't control爆发-type依恋 toward S/M This contradictory pain is just transferred from old pain to new pain I set all seeds buried in the worst soil How can it bloom How can it结出 delicious fruit Don't know if punishing myself or thickly burying myself Actually I really want to find a master, just I cannot approach anyone Also refusing anyone approaching me You can剖开 me, but cannot own me I cannot say同意, at this moment also cannot做到 loyalty My soul is written with refusal But my body欣然同意 I refuse you becoming my master But I'm happy you play with me Feelings gradually淡漠, but desire has not melted, what's going on, these two days情欲 is high, really want to play
Sorry I will let you down I can't stand it I want to约 T go No I want to约 a little green seedling Spring wind blows again grows～ Many people's～ Want… thoroughly …messy No rights at all Suppressed,被 what you say emm sleepy finished Won't think anymore Play a bit then sleep Good night Lord Dio says: I quit being human, JoJo.
Don't want to go to work, don't want to go to work, don't want to go to work Don't want to go to work, think about what to eat what to drink, what to do when old Want keeping, think about what to do if not kept anymore Want to be with a person, think about the consequences of losing What truly belongs to you What is self-thought illusion I don't know what the real world到底 is like But placed in my life, in fact will never leave me Only blood relatives Don't want to grow old Don't want friends anymore State when waking up every morning As desperate as can be As soon as I walk out the door it becomes晴朗, feel it's nothing it's okay I can't distinguish which is more煎熬 Busyness and family's companionship suppressed the consciousness that has already reached the end Why can't it suppress S/M this thing Is it because in fact There is no real thing that can hold me back A bit want to cry
Rest Worked for half a month Rest two days is not excessive right 🌝🌝 If I miss a person I go see him If cannot see I forget him
Early in the morning发 Q Immersed for several hours Save the child
#【Is anyone there? Did you see me】 Farewell everyone I can live a normal life now If life is a white wilderness, desire is a black ocean When seawater涌上 land, order on the wilderness starts to混乱, collapse, life starts to哀嚎 Either sink, or rebuild Build a city of my own, settle the邦 of my inner heart I渴望 yet fear love, so I逃避 I refuse, I would rather push everyone away, unwilling to have half a point of uncertainty I feel I need to be fully prepared, I grow, I am pessimistic, I探求 myself in观望 But actually The speed I establish relationships exceeds your imagination Because there is a key That can easily pry open people like me So when a person He带着 a key Naturally Has the ability to walk in and take me away The wall I built that seems to block Those languages starting with 'no' Quietly dissipate Even most never appeared before him He among everyone When I refuse everyone Precisely breaks open the fog障 around me Comes before me Holds my time I have no time to琢磨 my those不安 No time to weigh now and future All my energy is filled by immediate happiness Surrounded by present充实感 But I am also afraid Afraid I will quickly lose perception of love Afraid leaving the present The sense of security that disappears There are many ways to play Bodies willing to承认 many people But what can capture me Only one kind The body cannot always be my master What can be master is still the present Chattering me A sub's heart And a useless small brain When still wilderness I will indulge inner desire Will chase various fantasies Fall into deeper fantasies My world is either black or white Black desire White soul When dad appears Black tide is隔 outside the fence wall White light is both bright and warm I just want to tell you I am here Thank you for approaching me
Last night in a daze I got emo A momentary void Was captured by me and passed to dad Why would I be afraid he'll be disappointed Afraid he'll think I'm annoying Afraid he'll think I have too many issues Because I myself think so So this is also why I always Don't want to find a master I know what kind of character I am Many things I've suppressed myself But revealing just that little bit I feel惊心胆战 Since yesterday my chest hurts I thought sleeping would make it better Today it still hurts a lot Uh, a bit don't know how to breathe Morning起きて there is no Late night kind of emo emotion Only going to work Can make me自觉 get up on time Every morning need to wake up many times See what time it is Is it time to get up 糟糕 Breathing带 chest hurts so much Besides cold throat inflammation I felt another kind of breathing pain Meow du Lower abdomen also hurts My dear ibuprofen Don't know which it treats again Brain is muddled At the station I suddenly am very confused Don't recognize the road Driver brother opened the door three times for me Looked and asked Oh, finally confirmed I've arrived It's this station Haha 🤣 Quickly roll off the bus 🤣🤣🤣 OK Go to work
On the sofa Holding a soft cushion Curled up Fell asleep When sister returned I opened eyes Still not very sober Went to take a bath Can't sleep like this When taking a bath Listening to sister outside talking on phone with mommy My emotions keep falling falling Another me is already失语 I'm thinking again到底 what meaning is there I明明 know I shouldn't think But I根本 can't control Life really Is so absurd
When I want pain I know my state is wrong again Dad, save me
Small village moon弯弯 Small river flowing water sound潺潺～ Single looped for four days Still not tired of it Morning起きて feel myself so ugly Hurry makeup Mm, another cute baby again I just feel Anything can be born but not sickness Yesterday chest pain was severe Accidentally known by colleague Leader insisted I rest today go to hospital I don't want to go I don't want to rest I want to go to work Sure enough easily scared As soon as say go to hospital Night immediately got better Not painful anymore Go to work A bit sleepy =_=
An urgent order Stared for several hours When I should stare most I was busy and forgot Then problems occurred Want to cry Manager yelled at me Told me not to speak I also have no way to say anything Actually I could get off work Didn't handle well I can't let myself leave Someone else's图 had problems Let me handle it @ me eight hundred times How would I know what things you are making Looked at the图 Heh, really damn talented I吐槽 a sentence what the hell is this made Colleague quietly winked at me I said can't I even say it A pile of messy things My emotions are really stable Dad's bird's nest is both hot and sweet The bus drove away before my eyes Want to cry Sister wants to eat ice cream She said can she trouble me a bit Want to cry Why am I so矫情 Cry what p
Not everyone has the courage to heal themselves In this world Some things cannot be solved by talking I said I want to retreat I feel knowing dad may have been too early Shouldn't be at this timing Maybe two or three months later would be good too I always think Only if I become very good Can I have healthy normal relationships with people My those糟糕 emotions and thoughts I don't want to give to anyone 糟糕 myself Also don't want to give to anyone I am still suitable to live alone Go wherever I want No need to explain to anyone No need to care too much about others' thoughts No one pays attention no one heartaches Then I won't be矫情 Won't be more fragile I actually allow myself to degenerate Yet can't accept myself being fragile Or Can't accept wanting to rely on people Wanting people to catch my fragility Why Why must there always be such deep unworthiness感 I recall that post again “I am waiting for a person Waiting for him to come and fully understand me From my绝色 To my ordinariness” Now why do I feel it's so naive At night a bad thought萌生 again Completely dare not tell people Only quietly ponder myself Probably my brain is restless and chaotic again I am waiting for morning Waiting for the sun to rise Waiting for dawn Everything starts again
Dad Agreed to sleep together 🌝🌝 I'm so sleepy I need coffee to sustain life Sleep at 12 o'clock I only have 6 hours of sleep time Every day 6 hours This for a little 🐶 Is hard not to be恍惚 It's over I'm going to be late Should be able to clock in on time Meow du Rushing a traffic light Out of breath 👿 I like light rain without umbrella ☔ Heavy rain don't go out Wait until I've worked this job enough I'll go to dad's city
My right scapula Has been itchy since morning So itchy so itchy, itchy all day Back hurts so much, whole back hurts so much Now left scapula also starts to hurt a bit Am I going to grow wings Right hand ring finger is also very itchy Everywhere is fine, only ring finger itchy Who exactly is casting magic on me You come out I promise not to beat you to death 👿
Is this the price of growing wings
I miss him
I know what I want I just want a feeling of being a normal person That feeling of still being able to actively go upward in darkness That feeling that doesn't need to be pretended That feeling that originally should be like that How can I achieve it I want to have motivation to do things From the heart kind I can feel my curve is a downward sloping curve I want an upward one Normal and healthy Not inwardly always falling Yet forcing myself on the surface must go upward Actually my life placed on any normal person Is already very good Have food have housing have family have pets Work is actually not bad But placed on me it's inexplicably discordant Incomprehensible body and mind exhaustion Just like I look healthy and lively Bouncing around Immunity suddenly drops These strange small problems I haven't missed a single one Rubella, mumps, chickenpox Eczema, urticaria Now shingles again If I went to ancient times Presumably both highly poisonous and a good antibody Three elements of happiness Money, health, inner peace How can I achieve them Wow, look I grew Jiwen vegetables
My dad is too淡 So淡 it makes me a bit慌 I can't perceive his emotions I'm such a highly sensitive person I actually can't perceive his emotions I'm慌 This has never happened before I started to be curious about him His voice is extremely gentle But I've never heard his laughing voice His appearance is also very阳光 But I've never seen him smile either… (Spread hands) So many days never seen him angry Never seen him unhappy either He seems like a fake person I归结 it may be seeing too little hearing too little So I really want to go to his side to feel Feel If dad really said he is very严厉 Although he doesn't smile Feeling should be serious But his voice is really extremely gentle Not feeling serious at all～ Although the orders he gives don't allow me to refuse either Not low沉 nor loud But just a平平淡淡 tone Contrast感 extremely strong He is like a wise man steadily sitting on a high platform Expressionless without any fluctuation Whole body淡然 and quiet Expression cold and清清 Looking at the little 🐶 under his feet tortured by情欲 Wriggling like a caterpillar Looking at the little 🐶 Happy for a while 暴躁 for a while Sometimes亢奋 Sometimes low Looking at the little 🐶 throwing tantrums and rolling He himself steadily sits on the altar… Really want to pull him down How can there be such a person When the little 🐶 climaxes Listening to dad's平淡 gentle words Feel so割裂 Really want to go to his side See his real appearance His gentleness His严厉 His desire～ Sure enough Dad is secure type Oh Fell asleep Today is so hot 🥵
Eh Got sick I lost my job cccccc
A relationship makes you internally耗, the smartest做法: 4 words Which 4 words? Don't chase don't ask. Not toward him. Toward yourself. Don't chase his whereabouts, don't ask his心意. Close your mouth, take your heart back.
I am a kite with a broken string I thought days would get better soon In the brief working time, I indeed felt something, a kind of breath of being alive different from before, I thought days were about to get better, I thought that upward curve finally started to draw. But I couldn't坚持 down… I used work as an excuse, left my family, came to dad's side. It's not an excuse either, I was looking for upward courage, and心灵寄托, but enthusiasm quickly disappeared, I found I have no sense of归属, and increasingly no upward heart, I found finding work is equally hard, finding a master won't make me happy either, is it I can't walk out or挫败 makes me more and more逃避. Those familiar nothings, not one less, can't distinguish if it's pain or anxiety or unease, seems neither, just no feeling anymore, no feeling of being alive. New city, I still don't want to go out, because I根本 don't know where to go, nowhere has my position, nor my future. I am like a游魂 excluded by the world's daily life, no home, only不停 drifting and falling. I am a person who loves fantasizing very much. This is the most fatal. When thinking about what to do, I've already thought the future all through. I think about how to interview, how to go to work, how to坚持 down. Those images are so real, real to when work opportunities slip from my hands again and again, I can't distinguish what I lost,到底 is a job, or that self in fantasy who finally stood up. I originally thought, getting better is an upward straight line. Now I know, it's a repetition. It's climbing up three steps today, sliding down two steps tomorrow. I'm still at the bottom of the valley, not really walked out. I let that self who wanted to get better down again. I didn't expect nothingness would also repeat, seems in the process of saving myself, I didn't hold on and fell down again. I'm no longer surprised, what I'm more afraid of is, falling down again and again, I won't want to come up again.
Tsk, this world is very interesting, what's boring is me
He said I lost the desire to confide in everyone, for me, everyone around me, including relatives are strangers, in the depths of my heart, I have nothing, I am homeless, always alone, in this absurd world, I am forever an outsider. I know this world has no place for me, just why do you judge my soul.
【What needs discipline is not only the body but also the soul】 Want to ask When the little 🐶 leans up to rub and stick What is the master like Why never respond to me Why never touch me Why never hug me Nor discipline me Nor love to explore life's topics Every day every day's expectation Is wearing away my desire to be m The light in the little 🐶's eyes gradually dims I started to排斥 being beaten Unwilling to share心事 and no opportunity to share No longer report that I have a fever Want it just play myself Proactively approaching without getting a response Once twice three times Then I won't do it I shrink back into my 🐢 shell I inherently am a person without subjective initiative From the moment we met We never even chatted seriously once Never touched my inner heart my soul So you don't know why I became silent Don't know what I'm纠结 is not what to eat Don't ask me why I don't have fever don't be proactive anymore You don't ask I don't say You can raise my body very well White and fat But I don't love eating anymore I am destined to let you down Because what can't be obtained can't be obtained Broken things will continue to break I don't want to be m anymore don't want to be 🐶 anymore Don't love anymore don't expect anymore What should I do I can't distinguish if I don't want to face life so I'm an m Or because I love S/M don't want to seriously return to life Or because I can't go back can't do it So死死 grasp this life-saving straw Let me have strength to fight against the scythe-like Deprivation of fate
I reached King rank, I can't sleep, I no longer need to be angry with teammates, although I'm also菜, but I到底 am菜 that can reach King, not菜 with a hole in the brain, hum hum!
Will always be迷 for sincere and moving words
You say, what is the most painful thing in the world Is knowing you shouldn't look for meaning Is knowing that all appearances are illusory From my twenties to now, time has already walked more than ten years From vigorous upward to sunset in the west Like an elderly woodcutter, decrepit and old Still has to wave a rusty axe At the very beginning I worked hard with only two thoughts One is wanting mom and dad to live better Two is wanting to earn more money then freely play S/M, wanting to play keeping in the future This was my thought in my twenties, really, at that time I was really striving for playing S/M in the future It's just I had no ability, no insight and no cognition And such me once my heart became greedy, flaws were everywhere, easily devils钻进来, cheat and use It's that sentence as long as I努力 you don't know what big mess I'll make Mm, life a complete failure, becomes a joke, becomes a little bitter gourd, no consciousness no thought muddled for several years, now thinking feels like being possessed Forgot struggle forgot original intention forgot happiness Don't know which day, picked up S/M again, immediate happiness is really happy, out of control, more and more feel life is boring Is it depravity, I returned to S/M again, not like before I dominated I was sober I restrained, now S/M dominates me, I can't leave I sink my desires deepen Goals consistent but completely different two roads, before I played smiling, now I play crying, talking about my soul I'm dirty, I'm not pure anymore, before I was so sincere,无比 pious, simple, pure love for S/M, now I will be tempted by money, I more and more admire the strong, more and more idealistic Before I was a person, an ordinary person, I looked at the world with equal eyes, looked at契合, spiritually content Now I am like a 🐶, prostrate in the mud, yet look down on this world, spiritually never satisfied The more I fall into the mire the more I仰望 the moon, the cheaper I am the more I want to攀染 nobility Yet unable to be independent materially, I am no longer lofty, not materialistic but greedy, I don't计较 gains and losses, yet want a beautiful future I actually presented the future on the table I want to cry again I'm so greedy Because I found I want a home with an s Not marriage not love Is a sense of归属 If the heart has no place to栖息 Everywhere is wandering My sister said she heartaches for me Because I have no root Very pitiful Is very pitiful I cannot build my own home Nor want to build And S's home is not my home So Where is there a future
My words are too scarce My body answers for me
Don't know how to say Do you have that kind Watching watching more and more boring feeling
So not used to being alone I seem to never be able to live alone anymore
It's just a big dream empty, lonely shadow照 frightened swan White horse passing a gap a dream, in the dream there are some meetings
Or else Go home and farm
I have a disease Ah ah ah The young lady next door sounds really nice when she calls Papa's voice is too clear This wall Okay, this wall is pretty good I like it So I like listening to wall corners ₍ᐢ⸝⸝› ̫ ‹⸝⸝ᐢ₎
I had a dream Dreamed I was trained into a little 🐶 On an icy surface in ice and snow Wearing nothing Happily frolicking around the master playing games spinning in circles Then was rescued by a lovely family They took me back to their warm home But they quickly discovered I can't speak Responding to them Only Woof! Woof woof! Woof? Happy,沮丧, urgent, calm They sometimes look at me a bit sadly When I unconsciously crawl around patrolling my small room Like to stick out my small tongue panting Will look at them with wet eyes then woof When they dress me in a cute little skirt Will be at a loss clenching small fists I like them When they held a banquet for me Suddenly many people barged in I was very anxious At this time I still can't speak But I will dress beautifully Stand less than 1 centimeter beside them Sweetly smile When I saw the person in the middle My heart panicked a bit Knees bent Heavily smashed onto the ground Elbows supported on the ground Head pressed on the ground Just the next moment Was pulled up by several hands They quarrel for me I'm very happy But looking at that person My instinct tells me I really want to go to his side But I know I can't go They will be disappointed He spoke He frowned He smiled Stacks of photos scattered in the banquet hall Different videos lit up on each screen Inside all is me Me without a little skirt Standing kneeling prone Front back Inside and out all方位 being displayed I look and reminisce Tied in various places being played with Placed on various tools being coerced Surrounded by many people in the middle Obsessed painful… lewd Accompanied by in the video high or low crying or joyful or sorrowful sounds I swallowed saliva They are angry, furious, embarrassed He is also angry, mockingly looking at me Seems waiting for me to go over Crawl over Only me In everyone's gaze No emotion no shame Only confusion Only instinct And wet secrets
Let's meet Meet the people you want to see Don't leave regrets
I wander in the human world, endless to tell Endless思量
You see I'm not unable to live well Not unable to work well Not unable to live well But Just has no meaning Boring Bored Do you understand
Sometimes Want to cut off all联系 with the world Cut off all social interaction Leave all people Sometimes Feel my world is too quiet Need madness Need pain Need communication that won't retreat
All things are sorrowful
Exit C1 is closer to home, but it's a long stairway Exit C2 is a long escalator, at an angle with exit C1 At off-work time I like to walk C2, on the road turning back to C1 The elevator home to the 5th floor needs to walk up a section of stairs To the 6th floor needs to walk down a section of stairs The neighbor next door likes to go to the 5th floor and walk up She said she likes walking uphill But I still like to go to the 6th floor, then walk down
Either not very good at dreaming Once dreaming it's restricted level Like dreaming restricted-level dreams…
Some bicycles are very good to ride, effortless Some bicycles riding is really tiring Look very similar, experience感 completely different But within one hour all free 🆓
Actually I am afraid of losing Unwilling to have too deep a bond with anyone again I know too clearly the torment and hardship when deeply陷入 a relationship Uncontrollable gains and losses anxiety, at a loss panic Can't bear too many feelings falling to others then losing Finally becoming strangers Too many memories and longings Repeatedly accumulate thinking/doubt and indifference toward human nature I fear someone suddenly breaking into my life Disrupting my original calm then leaving again I can't bear the pain of parting, I yearn for forever But in this world there is no absolute forever I am inherently a timid and slow-warm person Need hundreds of times of initiative and response to be willing to believe that is real I am a complete pessimist Loneliness is with me
As long as I don't need I won't be disappointed
New move no WiFi The young lady responsible for entering facial recognition Seems大概 probably might want to sell me broadband She asked me if my shared roommate uses the internet together I said no No internet She said, ah, then you use a data card? I said mm She said is that number local to Taichung I said no She asked how much per month? I said 39 Asked then how much data per month do you have? I said counting carryover about 900G per month The young lady shocked: Wow, 900G!! I said mm, I根本 can't use it all She said, then add WeChat, facial recognition物业 will pass through then I said okay Then after scanning the code the young lady turned and left…… Her WeChat is Zhejiang Telecom
Nothing in the world is difficult As long as you're willing to give up Live if you can live If you can't live then forget it
Today diagnosed bankruptcy-type personality As soon as uncomfortable I don't want anything anymore Things don't want anymore People don't want anymore Don't want anything anymore